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SENATOR COLIN KENNY

Colin Kenny

Colin just celebrated his 30th anniversary in the Senate. That may seem like a long time, but as Colin pointed out in a 2012 National Post column warning against term limits for senators: “It takes most people several years on Parliament Hill to become really useful politicians.” (note: if elected, I promise to only be useless for, like, two years tops)

He touched on a similar point in a 2011 Ottawa Citizen column, writing “doctors, lawyers and journalists are much more capable in their crafts after some years of experience,” because he thinks of a senator as a skilled craftsman, and remains nostalgic for a time when they travelled from village to village plying their trade.

Colin has also publicly defended the cost of the Senate, writing that “In 2010 the Senate cost every Canadian $3.14 – one boutique cup of coffee.” It certainly lends some important perspective. For the mere price of a cup of coffee, you can feed a Senator for a year.

SENATOR LINDA FRUM

Linda Frum 3

Through pure gumption and hard work, Linda became the daughter of a famous journalist and an influential businessman. She’s due to retire from the Senate in 2038. That job security frees her from partisan constraints and allows her to focus on non-partisan public service, like chairing a fundraising dinner in honour of Prime Minister Stephen Harper. The dinner raised $5.7 million for the Stephen J. Harper Hula Valley Bird Sanctuary Visitor and Education Centre (S.J.H.H.V.B.S.V.A.E.C.) in Israel. Stephen Jonasbrothers Harper cares about birds.

Linda’s brother David is a former speechwriter for George W. Bush, and coined the phrase “Axis of Evil,” which the Iraqi people have yet to thank him for.

SENATOR DON MEREDITH

Don Meredith

Don is a loser. That’s not meant to insult him, it’s merely a dispassionate statement of fact. He ran in a 2008 federal by-election and lost very, very badly, placing fourth behind the Liberal, NDP and Green candidates with 12.5% of the vote. But Prime Minister Stephen Harper saw Don’s untapped potential so he bought him a new suit, waxed his head and appointed him to the Senate. If that sounds like the definition of unearned privilege, just remember: once Don turns 75 he’ll have to face the demeaning hell of unemployment all on his own, with nothing but a giant pension standing between him and financial ruin.

Don holds some very prestigious honours. Along with being one of the top spending senators, he also earned a Masters degree from California State Christian University as well as an honorary doctorate from the Canadian Christian Clinical Counsellors’ Association. Neither of those places happen to be actual schools, but that doesn’t stop him from signing his press releases as “The Honourable Dr. Don Meredith.” After all, he didn’t go to a non-school for no years just to be called “Mr.”